Of Adults With Low Self-Esteem And Attention Seeking Disorder…

I have been confronted or better still, been stumped by some strange behaviour I see around me- behaviours I would have laughed at had they not been so damaging to others.

I call this strange because normally this kind of behaviour would indicate immaturity and childishness. However, such behaviour from adults is ludicrous, to say the least. Pathetic as it may be, you find some people demonstrate this type of conduct on a day-to-day basis. I am not sure whether this is some sort of a personality disorder or plain atrociousness. However, what causes such deviant behaviour is an interesting study by itself.

My foray into this area of research has been very recent and what I’ve found out is astonishing to me. Attention seeking behaviour manifests itself in extreme behaviour patterns in order to compensate for something on the reverse side. If we feel inferior the human tendency is to compensate for our inferiority in the same way. If we discover that we lack something then we try to compensate by trying to achieve goals that make us feel superior.

Lying is another way to try and get attention.

Why do adults do this? It’s usually because they did not get enough attention as they were growing up and ended up feeling neglected. Jealousy and lack of self-worth are also important reasons why adults sometimes demonstrate attention seeking behaviour. Jealousy is a potent cause of many heinous acts that adults have been known to commit. Jealousy stems from feeling threatened by somebody else’s popularity where the attention seekers feel that they deserved to have the attention that was being showered on the object of their jealousy.

Lack of self-worth or poor self-image manifests itself in many ways. Attention seeking is one of them. Some people believe that they’ve been ignored or overlooked or have been deprived of the kind of attention they want. They try to compensate for lost attention by being loud, dressing garishly, criticizing people unfairly, carrying tales, inventing stories in the hope of getting the attention they would normally not get.

What is the way out of such behaviour?

First step is to be able to recognize that such behaviour is not the norm. People who feel the need to malign others to seek momentary gratification are certainly not the norm- thankfully! Next step is to analyse the inner urge to get attention and address the root cause. Seek help from professionals if need be. Third step is to find alternative ways to express this feeling of inadequacy. Jealousy and bitchiness is not the answer. Positive people motivate themselves to excel and shine in their own ways to fulfil this need for attention and recognition. Taking a leaf out of their books and driving inner transformation may help.

A word of caution for those who encourage such behaviour in others- do not beguile yourselves into believing that you’re trying to be fair. You are not and this ruse does not fool anybody. You are only giving in to the temptation of having your ego massaged by being given the opportunity to be mediator. There can be nothing more foolish than to condone malicious behaviour and to sound righteous and try to play the arbitrator. This sort of refereeing makes the wronged one loathe you and the instigator hold you in contempt. So in the interest of your own self-image develop an unbiased mind-set and approach the trouble-maker sternly. This way you will do yourself and the misguided attention seeking adult a genuine service.