The Parihars of Chatapara

Thank God for the Parihars of Tilak Nagar (Chatapara), Bilaspur. I wish them good fortune, health and peace wherever they are. It was a privilege to have met and known these simple, kind-hearted and humble people.

I came face-to-face with the realities of conjugal life for the first time in the winter of 1985. My banker husband had been newly posted to Bilaspur, a dusty, sleepy little town in Madhya Pradesh (now Chhattisgarh). Mrs and Mr Parihar were our first ever landlords. They were popularly called “Mama and Mami” by all the folks, young and old, in the neighbourhood. Their lone child, Prathibha, aka “Guriya” was almost my age. We immediately became great friends and a bond was formed that years of separation has not slackened.

The house, of which the Parihars were owners, itself was beautiful with a tiny courtyard and an even smaller but pretty patio at the entrance. I had arranged a multitude of potted plants with colourful flowers and tall green leaves that made it look like an arbour. There were three steps that led into the house- first came the large drawing-cum-dining room, to its right the smaller bedroom and then another larger bedroom. The utility area opened onto the courtyard and the kitchen was on one side of the courtyard. It was a small, spare but jolly little house- this was to be my universe for the next six years.

Mama and Mami- no two people could be more unlike each other and yet no two people could demonstrate better understanding and rapport like them, either. Mama was small, dark and quiet with a prominent squint. Mami was heavy, fair and had a marked moustache. Both spoke to us in pure Chhattisgarhi, which wasn’t difficult for me as I spoke Hindi like a native speaker. However, my very Bong husband and mother-in-law struggled to keep pace with their friendly chatter. They used to call me “bahuriya” a loving term for a daughter-in-law and I soon became “bhabhi” to the entire gang of kids ranging from two to sixteen in the entire neighbourhood!

There was never a more considerate and protective landlord ever. Since there were times when I had to stay alone in the house they raised the boundary wall of the courtyard so that it would be secure. The patio had at first no gate and was like a walk-in passage way to the house. However, Mami insisted that it needed to be fenced to ensure safety. They themselves lived on the floor above ours.  Mami would sit at the hearth in her house and talk loudly with me so I did not feel lonely at any point. Guriya and the rest of the children were a constant source of entertainment and company. There was never a dull moment and I had no time to feel lonesome.

Like most bankers, my husband was often late from work. On one such occasion when his bank had auditors visiting them, he did not show up until it was past midnight. I knew he would be late so I had finished my chores and had snuggled down to read a book while waiting for him. I must have dozed off because I woke up at the sound of Mama’s voice, sharp in reproach. Rubbing my eyes and pulling a shawl over my head I came out to the patio. True enough, there was Mama giving my husband a piece of his mind. How dare the bank keep him so long when he had a young wife waiting for him all alone at home?! He must tell his boss that this was highly irregular and it should never happen again…my poor husband took the reprimand meekly. He was humbled by Mama’s concern for us. The old gentleman had been sitting at the gate, ever since nightfall, guarding the house waiting for him to return.

Nowhere will you find such genuine love and concern from people you barely knew. We did not know how to repay such kindness and generosity. Every single day of the six years that we spent in their house was spent in peace and happiness. A few years later when my elder daughter was born- their elation was a sight to behold! Mami declared that having a “beta and bahuriya” in the house had been very good but with the coming of the baby all her dreams of having grandchildren had been realized… Looking at their happy faces I was grateful that I had been able to give them a little bit of happiness in return.